Maha Shivaratri, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Mob

1. Wherein the International Journalists cut the 8 hour long tika line.

2. Uh, yeah, it's half a million people. That's like at least 5 Coachellas in one. (Not kidding about the 8 hour long tika line)

3. Oh and some festies get trampled to death every year. This thing's crazy, man.

4. Yubaker proves to be hardcore as he boldly takes on five menacing, baton-spinning cops, wielding nothing but his bold diplomacy and quick wit.

5. Burning bodies. We're talking about effing BURNING BODIES. I mean, GD.

6. After the mobs and the smoke and the ash and the chanting and the haze and the nasty dirty river and the burning bodies (please see above) and the walk out to find a couple cabs and Todd's determination to make a liquor store mission, Charles says, almost an afterthought, "oh, see if you can pick up a nice Shiraz." We are in Kathmandu, dude.

7. Yet, Todd finds a nice Shiraz.

8. And Charles and Claire roll into the hotel restaurant half-drunk with an OPEN BOTTLE of the aforementioned Shiraz and two glasses, more declaring their intentions to the hotel staff then waiting for an answer ("okay if we bring this in?") and close the place down, I mean, until the the waiter drops some not-so-subtle hints re: their worn-out welcome.